A homeschooling mom with a hypothesis
Mattie Conklin
Part mad scientist, part mermaid, entirely fueled by butter and determination.
Grit is the thing that gets you through a homeschool day with all children still accounted for. Grace is the thing that lets you laugh when one of them asks if bacon is a vegetable. Mattie has both - in slightly alarming quantities.
The Grit - Grace Balance Sheet
Grit
- Scrubs floors like it is an Olympic event
- Deadlifts in the garage between spelling tests
- Wakes up before the children so she can caffeinate in peace
- Once taught long division while wearing a snorkel mask
Grace
- Apologizes to the houseplants after vacuuming them
- Bakes keto mug cakes with the tenderness of a pastry chef
- Floats in the pool like a very elegant, very hydrated cloud
- Whispers affirmations to her sourdough starter (which is also keto, somehow)
The Homeschool Laboratory
Mattie runs a homeschool that operates somewhere between a one-room schoolhouse and a low-budget research facility. The curriculum is strong. The safety protocols are questionable. The snacks are strictly low-carb.
The Keto Doctrine
Bacon is a food group
It is also a love language, a bedtime snack, and occasionally the only thing keeping the household from revolt.
Butter goes in coffee
Not because it is trendy, but because it is delicious and slightly alarming to houseguests.
Electrolytes are religion
Sodium, magnesium, potassium. If she is not holding a salt shaker, she is probably thinking about one.
The keto flu was survived
Three days of determination, one dramatic nap, and a vow to never waste a carb again.
Current emotional state: directly correlated with bacon intake.
The Aquatic Evolution
Mattie loves swimming. The pool is her second home. Fish have begun recognizing her. Lifeguards wave politely but with concern. Use the meter below to track her current form.
Grit. Grace. Weirdness.
Mattie Conklin is a homeschooling, keto-fueled, pool-dwelling force of nature. She scrubs hard, swims harder, and never skips the butter. This site is a tribute - and also a warning.